Army Wife and Survivor Strong Chick Michelle

Strong Chick Michelle

 

I met Michelle on Saturday at the “Operation Homefront Star Spangled Babies” Shower. I can’t stop thinking about her. I was meant to be there that day and meet her. The first thing that so impressed me about Michelle was she was at the event VOLUNTEERING. She is such an inspiration. And in the brief time talking with her I knew we had a bond. Here she is, amazing Strong Chick, Army Wife and survivor in so many ways.

Hey Debbie,

It was truly wonderful meeting you at the OHOK baby shower on Saturday. I feel so honored that you wanted my story so here it is. It is going to be a little all over the place so I apologize. Since my husband deployed my brain no longer works lol.

In 1998 I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby boy. Trevor weighed 9 lbs 5 ozs and was as strong as a 3 month old! For almost 2 and a half years Trevor was the healthiest toughest little boy that many had ever met.

One day he started to complain about a sore throat so I made a doctors appt and was told he had a simple sore throat and handed an antibiotic. Trevor continued to get weaker by the day. He didn’t want to eat slept way too much and just didn’t look right. I took him back to the doctor and was told he “may” have strep. No blood work was done, nothing more than a throat swab and more antibiotics. Two days later I noticed the glands in his neck seemed to be swollen. At this point I was no longer content with the antibiotics and took him to Children’s Hospital in San Diego, CA.

Within thirty minutes they had blood work done and iv fluids started for dehydration. We were admitted and I was so happy something was being done. The next morning I was woken up by the pediatrician to earth shattering news. My son had Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia and they needed to start treatment immediately.

I couldn’t begin to grasp what I was just told. How could this be true? I was a good mom! Sadly what I found out was this disease had nothing to do with how he was raised or what I could do for him.

The next year was a complete nightmare between chemo and radiation Trevor was so weak. We couldn’t leave the hospital because he literally had no immune system left. Everyone who visited had to wear a sterile suit and mask so they didn’t bring outside germs in. 13 months after he was diagnosed we received the best news possible…
Trevor was in remission!

Life resumed for 8 months until a random blood test revealed that Trevor’s Leukemia was back. We all settled in for another long hard fight but knew we would beat it again. Sadly the chemotherapy and radiation wasn’t helping this time and the only thing that could help would be a bone marrow transplant. To our horror we discovered than none of the family was a match. We went to the registry and couldn’t find a suitable match that was available to us.

We did what we could and basically just had to make and keep him as comfortable as possible. On November 15th, 2003 Trevor passed away in my arms.

Shortly before my 30th birthday I went in for my yearly gyno appt and within a week I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I underwent a lumpectomy and 2 rounds of chemo and after 8 months I was cancer free!

It made me really take a look at my life and realize how unhappy I was with my marriage. I had been married to my children’s father for almost 10 years and couldn’t imagine being a single mom. However my husband was a very abusive man and I knew if I didn’t leave soon I never would. So one night after an “episode” I grabbed up my 2 boys and we left with nothing. i got us a little apartment an we started life over slowly.
Just one month after my divorce was finalized I noticed an all too familiar feeling in my right breast. I made a doctors appt and once again I was told I had breast cancer. This time I was a single mom and didn’t know anyone since I was new to Oklahoma. I put on my big girl panties and started the fight. A few months later I met a man online through a cancer support group and we started to talk everyday. He was a CML (Chronic Myeloid Leukemia) survivor and understood when I said things like “Im having a cancer day”. Months went by and we continued to chat online then moved to the phone and he was just amazing. I learned he had always wanted kids but wasnt able due to his chemo earlier in life. Then the good news came, he was being stationed in Oklahoma! So I took a chance and flew to Virginia to road trip with him back to Oklahoma. The connection was instant and I knew I wanted to be with this man for the rest of my life. When we got back to Oklahoma we started dating officially. I thought he was insane for wanting to date a single mom with stage 2 cancer but I was super glad! 6 months later he proposed to me and I excitedly agreed. With one clause, I wouldn’t marry him till I was cancer free. He still stuck around!
On April 17th, 2013 I celebrated my 2 year cancer free date. On May 26th, 2013 I also celebrate my 2 year wedding anniversary.

I found out recently I am a carrier fo the BRCA2 gene and so I have opted for a double mastectomy. the way I look at it is I would rather hold a grandbaby someday than have boobs.

I know this is all over the place and I do apologize. If there is anything else I can answer for you I will.

A quick background

I am a very proud Army wife with 2 little boys ages 8 & 9. I am a stay at home wife and mom but keep myself very busy with lots of volunteer work.

Thank you again for the opportunity and interest in my story.

Michell

Happy October 1st & a Hodgkin’s Survivor Military Strong Chick

Happy October 1st

 

 

Happy October 1st my friends! The months just fly by-the first always sneaks up on me! And here I am late getting this out today, but I think it happened for a reason because of the comment that just appeared on the Military Wife Strong Chick (featuring Latife) blog post. I am just blown away. I cannot believe all the strong people I have been introduced to because of having Hodgkin’s Lymphoma and founding the Happy First clothing line. Also, I wanted to refer back to My Hodgkin’s story, because I want you all to see other people’s stories and if you know someone going through it, maybe my blog post and everyone’s comments can be an encouragement.

I was going to tell you about all the cute new stuff we have (and it is! check it out) but I thought sharing other’s stories are more important today!

So be Happy to be Here and remember this is a new month to make a difference in your life and others’!

We are still looking for some more Military Strong Chicks out there to tell their story as a part of an upcoming project, so please contact me either via my blog or site or facebook with your story.

Oh, one more thing, we are now on Pinterest, please follow us! happy first bat

Ok, couldn’t resist, here is one cute new thing, go check out the rest…..

Helping Anna’s friend Micaela battle Leukemia

Anna Basso Float On tee

Click on the tee to see details

In my last blog entry, Anna Basso’s Impact on Others,  I told you about my sister’s 18 year old next door neighbor in Dallas, Anna Basso, who passed away in June from a year and a half battle with Ewing Sarcoma. My brother in law, Mark Hall, along with his ad agency, Firehouse, had set up a website to get 1 million prayers for Anna, www.1millionprayers.com .The key verse in the site was Romans 12:12, “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” and they wanted people to pray for Anna every day at 12:12 pm.

The night before the funeral we went to Anna’s visitation. She wanted everyone to wear purple (her favorite color) and bright colors to her visitation and funeral. Her friends and family spoke about her life at the visitation. She had so many good friends. I was so impressed with their maturity and love for Anna. One thing they kept saying that night was what a “Rock Star” she was and how she loved music. In fact, Manchester Orchestra (Anna’s favorite band) had flown in from Atlanta to be with her family-they were at the visitation and later at her Aunt and Uncle’s that night to play to a small group of friends and family. That night the singer said he didn’t realize when he wrote “I feel your pain” five years ago that it would be for Anna. It was a very emotional night.

The funeral was the next day. Just like the night before, their church was packed. I was wearing my bracelet that has Pandora beads and Confidence Beads. My friend, Linda Waters, owns Confidence Beads and each bead has a word or phrase on it. I was playing with my beads and reading the words. The purple bead says “Rock Star” ! I couldn’t believe it. It was as if it were made for Anna!

Then, after the funeral, most people went to the reception hall. We followed Mark and Susan (my sister), with the close friends and family, not being sure if we should, but we wanted to stay by them. They were going to be with Anna’s family while they put Anna’s casket in the hearse. As they did this, the priest looked at his watch and said “It is 12:12!”.Then Randy pulled out his phone, and it was 12:12! This was not planned. I don’t think it was a coincidence.

Instead of flowers, the Bassos asked that any donations go to Anna’s good friend, Micaela White, who just had a bone marrow transplant for leukemia. I am just in awe of the type of people the Bassos are. I want to be like them. They have shown tremendous grace, faith and strength. They immediately went to help someone else. They are now keeping us all posted on Micaela’s needs and progress.

Organic Butterfly A-line Vneck tee

Anna's Butterfly tee, click on pic for details

Micaela and Anna have been friends since they were young. You can read about the two of them in this article entitled “Kindred Spirits” posted by the Texas Catholic Youth. Micaela still needs blood products. Every day, in addition to platelets, she is given 1-3 units of blood.

The day after the funeral I went for a long run by myself trying to process everything. I’m still trying to process everything. I was wondering if I should write about Anna and tell others. I was hoping to see a butterfly along the way (Anna loved butterflies) or just see some kind of sign of what I should do, how I could help. Then it hit me! Design a tee shirt in memory of Anna, and have the proceeds go to help Micaela. Happy First has been giving to leukemia and lymphoma research; this is a way we can help someone directly in need affected by leukemia.  I got back to my sister’s and she thought it was a great idea! She mentioned it to Carol (Anna’s mom) and Carol said Patrice (Anna’s older sister)  had the same idea too. So now Patrice and I are working on a tee together! The tee is includes words from the band Modest Mouse‘s song “Float On” , featured in the video “Dear Anna” created by Anna’s high school friends. If you would like to order one, click on the picture to take you to the Happy First site to place your order. (ps-I am adding this note 8/1-we have had requests for a crew neck, it is now available-picture and info at Anna’s Float on Crew Neck tee)

Then I realized, I already have a cute organic a-line tee that is purple with butterflies on it! It was meant to be! So I have decided to donate the proceeds from this tee too to Micaela’s fund.

I am so happy to help in some way and I am so enjoying getting to know Patrice better. By the way, Patrice has a wonderful blog, it is www.patricesblog.com where she talks about Anna’s journey. I know this fundraising for Micaela won’t bring Anna back, but will help her memory live on and help us in our healing and also help her dear friend, Micaela. I haven’t met Micaela yet, but hope to some day.

Another weird so-called coincidence. When Anna was first diagnosed, my sister and I gave Anna, her mom, and Patrice Happy First necklaces with their favorite charms.  In April, Carol said Micaela would really like one too. She wanted one of the charms to be the relic cross. I went to fill her order and realized I was out of the relic crosses. I had lost my own Happy First necklace with the relic cross about 6 months ago. The day I was working on Micaela’s necklace I just happened to find my missing necklace in my closet! Micaela was meant to have my cross! The weird thing is, after I sent her package, I found an extra cross in my stock. I think it is more special that Micaela has my cross and was meant to be.

I keep looking for silver linings and found one with a new friendship.  I went to a business conference back in February-Tory Johnson’s Spark and Hustle, and saw Jo Khalifa, owner of MoJo Roast Coffee speak. After the conference we became friends through email and Facebook, talking back and forth, realizing we had lots in common. Then in one of her messages to me she mentioned that one of her daughters had Ewing Sarcoma 17 years ago when she was 8, and is now 25! I immediately called her on the phone and we had a long conversation. I feel like Anna brought us together.

So, I just had to share Anna’s impact on others. Her life may have been short but she and her family did (and still are doing) more for others than most people do in a long lifetime.

My Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Survivor Story

Happy to be Here Hodgkin's Survivor The Diagnosis of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma

In January of 1995 I was 32 years old and had an almost 4 year old son and a new baby boy- just 6 weeks old. I felt a lump on my neck near my right collar bone. It was just the size of a pea. My sister in law, a nurse, said it was probably nothing, but I went ahead and asked my obgyn at my 6 week appointment. He also thought it was nothing but said to see a surgeon if it would make me feel better. I have always been proactive when it came to health so I booked an appointment with a surgeon. The surgeon also thought it was nothing and gave me antiobitics. A week went by. The lump still didn’t go away, so he said he would remove it and biopsy it, 99% chance it was nothing, just an infection. So I went into the little surgery not being worried about it. I had the surgery on a Friday and it took longer than expected. The surgeon told my husband he suspected something. My husband didn’t tell me that because he didn’t want me to worry all weekend. So finally on Tuesday the doctor’s office called me and over the phone said “You have Hodgkin’s Lymphoma but it is one of the best kinds of cancer”. I was a bit freaked out. I immediately called my husband, who was at work and then rushed home. But first he called his sister, the nurse, to talk to me and calm me down.

Then I called my best friend Amy, whose dad is a doctor in Tulsa, to find out who was the best oncologist around. He called back and told her Dr. Alan Keller with Cancer Care Associates. It just so happened that Amy was going to a cocktail party that night and the CEO of Cancer Care was there. Amy talked to him about me. I got an appointment booked to see Dr. Keller. But before I saw Dr. Keller, I saw another oncologist first that my surgeon had recommended. He was from another country, and was really nice but I found him hard to understand. He said for me to be “cautiously optimistic” with my prognosis. The one thing I remember that I didn’t like was that his office was dark and dreary. It is amazing how little things like the doctor’s office atmosphere can affect someone.

I went in to see Dr. Keller and instantly knew I was at the right place. Their atmosphere was cheerful. Dr. Keller was incredible. He also was optimistic with my prognosis and made me feel like the treatment was just something I had to go through to get better. Hodgkin’s is usually very curable today. It wasn’t 40 years ago. In fact, my next door neighbor’s first wife had died from it after their first baby and she was just in her 20′s .  Our next door neighbors were 30 years older than us and like our 3rd set of parents. They were very upset when they heard what I had.

Prognosis and treatment of chemotherapy and radiation

Immediately Dr. Keller did a bone marrow biopsy on me to help with the staging. Wow, that was the most painful test in my hip but it lasted just a split second. Luckily, it had not spread to my bones. Then I had to have other scans and tests. I was staged as a 2A. 2 because it had spread from my neck to my chest (I had a mass in my chest). “A” means I had no symptoms. Some people experience fatigue, night sweats, and weight loss. I didn’t have any symptoms but the lump in my neck. Hodgkin’s disease is considered one of the most curable forms of cancer, especially if it is diagnosed and treated early. The cause is not known. Hodgkin’s lymphoma is most common among people ages 15 – 35 and 50 – 70. Infection with the Epstein-Barr virus is thought to contribute to most cases. Another interesting thing I have heard is that many people who have had Hodgkin’s have had Mononucleuosis. I had mono in my 20′s. Unlike other cancers, Hodgkin’s disease is often very curable even in late stages.With the right treatment, more than 90% of people with stage I or II Hodgkin’s lymphoma survive for at least 10 years. If the disease has spread, the treatment is more intense but the percentage of people who survive 5 years is about 90%.

Dr. Keller advised 6 months of chemotherapy (every 2 weeks) followed by  6 weeks of radiation for me. He said if I had both, my chances of survival were 98%. He said most often, if it were to reoccur, it would come back within 2 years (glad that was 16 years ago!). They got started with my treatment very quickly after I was staged. I started treatment the day after my older son’s 4th birthday.

My friend Amy had another friend, Teresa who was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin’s at the same time as me. We met each other and kept each other posted of our treatment. She is now fine today too!

Silver Linings

There was a silver lining to my cancer. My faith was really strengthened and I realized how many blessings I had in my life. Friends and family were making me meals, hiring a cleaning lady, helping in so many ways I almost felt guilty, but then I realized that it was a way they could feel better and contribute to what I was going through. My mother in law was incredible; every 2 weeks when I had chemo the boys and I would spend a night or two at her home and she took care of us. I kept telling myself that God had a plan for my life and I was going through this for a reason.

People were surprised at my positive attitude but I didn’t really see what other kind of attitude to have. My doctor was so positive and just looked at treatment as something I had to go through to get better. Who cared if I lost my hair? It was only temporary. Because my kids were so small I had to focus on them and couldn’t wallow in self pity. I didn’t have time.

One big thing I learned is how important it is to say only positive statements. People would say things to me like they were sad I might not be around or they knew someone who died from Hodgkin’s. That didn’t help me at all! I hated the look on some people’s faces when they found out I had cancer. It worried me. I chose to just listen to my doctor who was optimistic and knew the latest in medicine. I now am very careful to only tell positive and success stories to people that are going through something. You don’t realize how people can internalize little comments and how it can affect them. My husband was my rock-he shielded me from negative people and statements. My cancer strengthened our already strong marriage. We have now been married almost 27 years. He is my best friend. Ok, I digress!

I kept wondering what I was supposed to do with this experience. During my treatment one of my good friends came down with breast cancer. She had commented earlier she didn’t know how I was getting by and then weeks later she had a battle to face. I saw myself becoming an encourager. We started to have fun with it; me with my wig and she with her prosthesis (she too had just had a baby 2 weeks prior to her diagnosis and couldn’t have reconstruction for several months so had to have a prosthesis). Shortly after several other friends came down with cancer and I was there for them and hopefully an example. Happily, everyone is fine today.

The years went by raising little boys and for a while I just wanted to repress my experience and move on. I didn’t want my cancer to define me. I really wanted to forget it. I just wanted to get on with life. Over 10 years later, Happy First was born (more on how we got started later!).

While in the planning stages of Happy First, my dad was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. This is also in the Leukemia and Lymphoma family. This was confirmation to me that this was what I should be doing. Happy First gives a percentage of profits to leukemia and lymphoma research.  I want to give back. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for cancer research. We launched Happy First in May of 2007. My dad passed away in September of 2007.

Now you know why I am so “happy to be here” (and that is the name of my latest tee, more on that later!) and why I celebrate each month by saying “happy first!”. I now know that I went through Hodgkin’s Lymphoma to encourage and inspire others. I am grateful I went through it, but hope to never go through that again! It is still scary going for checkups, it brings it all back.

Wow, it feels weird writing all of this down to tell you. I haven’t thought of the details in a long time.

I hope I have helped someone with this story! I would love to see your comments below. If you have an inspiring story, please email me at debbie@happyfirst.com and let me know if you want me to share it.

Have a happy day my friends, and be glad you are here!